The unwritten rules of The ‘Book

This post is inspired by a Facebook friend who is new to the ‘book. I couldn’t find a good article to help them understand the ‘unwritten rules’ for this social media platform so I created my own.  It’s a little long, but worth the read if you’re not confident in your social media skills.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I Googled to find the most popular do’s and don’ts, picked some favorites, and added some of my own.  And before someone gets all in their feelings and thinks I’m targeting them specifically, I’ve done almost all of these things myself so calm down and take a breath.  Here’s my list, in no particular order.

Please stop sharing mundane information about your day.

  • “Watching cartoons and eating cereal.”
  • “Sipping coffee and staring out the window.”
  • There is nothing remotely insightful or exciting about these kinds of updates so just don’t.

TYPING IN ALL CAPS is considered yelling and is rude.

  • If you’re typing in caps because you can’t see, and you’re on a laptop or computer, here’s a tip.  Hold down your CTRL button and press the +/= button (it’s typically on the same row at your number keys).  This will increase the size of your font.
  • To reverse the action, use CTRL and _/- (that’s the long dash over top of the short dash key), usually right next to the +/= key.

If you have spell check, and you probably do, for the love of Pete, USE IT. And yes, I’m yelling.

  • Spelling, punctuation, and grammar matter. Here’s my favorite example:  “Let’s eat grandma” (meaning you’re a cannibal and will be having grandma for dinner) versus “Let’s eat, grandma” (which means let us begin eating this delicious meal you’ve prepared, grandma).  One comma makes all the difference.
  • I really like when people use run on sentences that have no punctuation whatsoever and just keep going and going so please review your posts for spelling punctuation and grammar because we are all grown and I shouldn’t get a headache trying to figure out what you’re trying to say.

Hashtags.  I hate hashtags.

  • Hashtags (#) are used on social media to organize and track things.
  • I use them occasionally, typically in an ironic or funny way.  Like #ihatehashtags.
  • One or two are ok, but any more than that is annoying.
  • If you want a deeper explanation of hashtags, GTS (Google That Shit).  Which leads me to something else you should Google, social media acronyms. Don’t try to use them without knowing what they mean.  And when you Google something, actually use Google.com.  Other search engines suck (I’m looking at you, Bing).

Refrain from being long-winded. If your post is too long, no one will read it.

  • Whether you like it or not, we live in an ‘instant’ society and we have no patience.  Try to keep your posts (comments, and replies) short.  FB is a time suck as it is, no one wants to spend 2o minutes reading your singular post.
  • If you feel what you have to say is important and can’t be expressed in a sentence or two, go ‘head and say it.  Just know that if your post has a “Continue Reading” link on it, most people are going to keep scrolling…

Don’t ‘sign’ your comments.

  • Everyone can see your name and profile picture in the upper left hand corner, we know who you are.

Don’t Poke.

  • Don’t poke anyone.  Ever.  Seriously.
  • It’s an annoying and completely useless feature.
  • If you don’t even know what a poke is, keep it that way.  Or, GTS if you’re really curious.  🙂

Just because someone posts it doesn’t mean they’re experiencing it.

  • My timeline is all over the place, it has no rhyme or reason (I DO try to keep things positive and minimally offensive though).  If I see it, and I like it, I’ll post it.  It doesn’t mean that’s what’s going on in my life at that moment.
  • Also, I can’t speak for others but if I post something, and you see yourself in it and get all in your feelings, that’s your own guilty conscience boo boo. I don’t go looking for things to passive aggressively post to purposefully piss people off.  If I post something specifically directed at someone, trust me, they’ll know it.

You’re going to see things that offend you.

  • My advice to you; choose whether or not comment wisely, because, TROLLS (which I’ll get to later).
  • You’re better off just scrolling past it.  It’s not worth trying to have a civil debate with someone whom you’ll never meet in real life, who will eventually resort to TYPING IN ALL CAPS and name calling.

If you play games on Facebook, don’t invite others.

  • Look (and uncheck the box to ‘invite others’) before you click.   People have been blocked for less.

If you get a friend request from someone you’re already friends with, don’t accept it.

  • The same goes for friend requests from strangers.  Chances are it’s either malware (Google it) or you have a stalker.  Both are bad, so don’t.

Don’t share information without checking the facts.

  • Facebook is not going to start charging you a fee.
  • Liking and sharing a post is not going to result in a huge charitable donation to anyone.
  • There’s no such thing as an app that shows you how many people have viewed your profile.
  • When in doubt, check one of my favorite sites: snopes.com.  Or, GTS.  🙂

You will not be deemed a ‘bad person’ for scrolling past a picture of someone or something in an unfortunate situation without liking it, typing “amen,” and sharing it on your timeline.

  • Unless you know the original poster, you have NO IDEA what’s going on with that situation.
  • Anyone with internet access can copy a picture and make up a fake story to pull at your heartstrings.  That doesn’t make it TRUE.

Friends don’t let friends “vaguebook.”

  • Example:  “Sitting at the ER waiting for my test results.”  Either post the whole story or don’t post anything at all.
  • Even more annoying?  When someone asks “what happened” and the person responds with “message me.”
  • Um, if you don’t want the world to know, don’t post it for the world to see.  Just say no to cryptic posts.

Don’t post blurry pictures.

  • Most cell phones these days have good cameras.
  • If you don’t own one, or you suck at taking pictures, don’t post them on FB.  Please.  My eyes aren’t what they used to be and you’ll have me thinking I need new glasses.
  • Also, don’t post all 300 pictures from your birthday party or vacation.  And don’t post pictures of food.  Unless it’s something really special, like an elaborate wedding cake you made from scratch.  Or gumbo from New Orleans (YUM!).

If you’re going to take a selfie and post it, consider the angle and the background.

  • No one wants to look past your nose hairs clear up into your nasal cavity, or see your nasty toilet in the background.

Resist the urge to post when you’re emotional.

  • And if you do, remember you can always go back and delete it (which is usually a good idea).
  • Facebook isn’t a substitute for professional therapy.

Don’t believe everything you see or read on Facebook.

  • We already discussed researching things before you post them.  Most people don’t.

Some people’s ‘Facebook lives’ are very different from their ‘real lives.’  Just saying’.   😉

If you reach out to someone from your past and they don’t respond, let it go.

  • There are a thousand and one reasons why someone won’t respond to a message or FB friend request.  Don’t take it personal.
  • One valid reason, however, could be that Facebook has filtered your message and they can’t see it.  Click here for instructions on how to view your filtered messages.

Don’t be the person who interrupts comments with a negative or completely opposite point of view.

  • Would you walk up to a group of people talking about how much they love cats and say “I hate cats, that’s why I have dogs?” An exchange like that is just as awkward on social media.

Don’t post for attention or to brag.

  • Example:  Posting a selfie with the comment “I really hate this picture, it makes me look fat.”  Um, then why did you post it????
  • “I just bought this 3,000 inch television with so many features it’s going to take days to learn them all.”  You got a new toy, we get it, the world doesn’t need to know.

TIPS:

If you friend someone and don’t like what you see on their timeline, you can “unfollow” them without unfriending them (Google it or search Facebook help).  When you unfriend someone, you no longer have access to their profile, and neither of you can see each other’s timeline.  If you unfriend a family member, for example, it might hurt their feelings.  If you unfollow them, you won’t see their updates in your timeline, but they can still see yours.  Problem solved.  If you unfollow them and get curious about what they’ve been up to, you can always visit their page.

AVOID TROLLS.  Trolls are people who purposefully reply to or leave blatantly mean, rude, or inappropriate comments solely to incite responses from people.  Don’t engage them, ever. You could attract one simply by commenting on something (which is why I said choose whether or not to comment wisely).   To limit this behavior, you can set your Privacy settings to control who can and can’t see or even comment on your posts (see FB help).  However, you can’t control who responds to your comments on OTHER people’s posts.

If you happen to attract a troll, or comment on something and some ugliness ensues, just like in real life, you can remove yourself from the situation.  Simply delete your post or comment.  Problem solved.

If you want to post something to a specific audience, you can put your FB friends into groups or categories.  For example, if you want to post something about your family reunion, if you have your family members in an existing group, you can choose that group as your audience for your post. That way all of your non-related FB friends won’t see that post.  Here are some other examples of targeted groups; high school friends, associates, co-workers, colleagues, military friends, church members, etc.  Here’s a link directly to FB’s help guide on how to create groups.

Remember the Positive

I’ll be the first to admit that social media is a HUGE waste of time and can sometimes result in negative feelings or situations.  However, there are some things I really enjoy about it.

  • I can keep up with my family since I don’t live near them.
  • There’s actually some useful stuff out there.  From recipes to exercise routines to arts and crafts ideas and do-it-yourself projects.
  • There are communities for things you’re into, filled with people who share the same the same interests as you.  You can join groups dedicated to the things you enjoy, moderated by real people who keep the trolls at bay.
  • You can like or follow a page and receive updates to your timeline for anything from tour dates for your favorite band to tv shows to news updates and book or movie recommendations.

Do yourself a favor and Google all of the above to learn more.  Learn to fish for yourself, I can’t spoon feed you everything.  🙂  YouTube is also an amazing place to learn how to do things, not only in regards to social media but for learning new things in general.   🙂

I know I’ve been long-winded but hopefully you’ve learned something.  The best Facebook posts are ones that are funny, educational, informative, entertaining, or interesting.  And if you can post something that covers all of those categories at once, that would make you a Ninja Warrior Facebook Expert.  If someone can look at your post update and learn something new, or it puts a smile on their face, you’re doing it right.  And if you don’t get it right 100% of the time, that’s ok (you can’t please everyone and you always have the option to delete).  Just remember, it’s Facebook, it’s not that serious.

Socially yours,

Angela