The Soundtrack of my Life
I’ve been really struggling these last few days trying to get a new post written, which is unusual. There are a few things I’d love to blog about, but they’re way too personal, so I guess I need to reserve those for my personal journal. Fortunately last night I came across a blog prompt that caught my attention and now has me up at the crack of dawn, before sunrise, inspired and trying to get this all written down before it leaves my fickle and unreliable memory.
If I had to come up with a soundtrack or playlist for my life right now, and I could only include five songs, what songs would they be? Anyone who knows me knows I’m passionate about music. My collection spans all genres and several decades. In fact, as of this morning, my Google Play Music account has 1,000 artists and includes 7,323 songs (and counting). And that’s not even my entire collection, it’s just what I’ve uploaded to the service so far (and that took several nights to accomplish, leaving my laptop running overnight to complete the process). I say that to say this; to pick only five songs is going to be tough, but I’m going to go with the first songs that come to mind. Here are my five songs, in no particular order, that I feel best express my life right now:
I know songs can be interpreted many ways by different people but this one symbolizes the seasons of life to me. I’m at a point in my life where I see the fruits of my labor in my children (and I’m proud of the fruit they’ve become), and I’m acutely aware of not only my mortality, but the mortality of my parents and my sole living grandparent, who is slowly losing her battle with dementia. It’s also ironic and slightly unsettling to see how the roles between parents and children slowly begin to reverse as time passes by.
Kiss Me On My Neck – Erykah Badu
This one may seem somewhat sexual at first glance but it really isn’t. The lyrics are actually pretty deep, and they definitely express what I’ve been feeling lately. This song represents the struggle (say it with me ladies, it’s real) involved in finding blissful companionship. While I gave up on my online search (read about part I and part II here), I haven’t given up on finding a long-term relationship. I genuinely believe I’ll meet the right guy for me while I’m simply enjoying my life. And we’ll have a really boring, totally unromantic story about how we met, in the produce section of the grocery store, or outside of a public bathroom where we literally bumped into one another.
Most of us have days or moments when we think back and reminisce over our childhood. For the most part I enjoyed mine, and there are some days when I just don’t want to be an adult, or deal with the responsibilities that come along with that. This is a great feel good song that expresses those occasional moments when I want to go back in time and be a kid again, and forget all about raising kids, paying bills, and working a 9 to 5.
Taking Care of Business – B.T.O. (Bachman-Turner Overdrive)
I hate to do this to you, because I know it’s an earworm (“a tune or part of a song that repeats in one’s mind”), but this song pretty accurately reflects how I feel about my job and corporate America. I would love to be able to do my own thing, but I’m not in the position to right now, so for now I’ll just be taking care of business (see what I just did there?). I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m blessed to have the job I have, and I’m on a great team right now, but if I could walk away tomorrow and still be able to maintain my current lifestyle doing my own thing, I would. In a heartbeat. My interests have changed and I’m just not as passionate about the world of information technology as I once was. Here’s hoping my badge still works in the morning.
Yep, I’m going there. This song just represents the fact that I feel like I’m in a great place in my life right now. I feel balanced, I’m confident in who I am, and I know what I want out of life (and what I don’t). I’ve made peace with my past, and I’m looking forward to my future. It’s been a little over a year since my trip to Vegas, where I decided it was time to get back to the physical me I once knew, and today I’m looking and feeling great (if I do say so myself). I’m not where I want to be yet but I’m definitely not where I was. And because of my focus, drive, and determination, I continue to see progress on a weekly basis.
So that’s my five song playlist, straight from the top of my head, that pretty much sums up my life right now in a nutshell. And I’m sure after I post this I’m going to think of at least twenty different songs that would’ve been better choices, but that’s just the nature of a writer, always wanting to edit our words and find better ways to express ourselves. What five songs would you use to describe where you are in your life right now?
Lyrically yours,
Angela