Ladies, let’s talk about periods…

And I don’t mean those things at the end of sentences.  Guys, I’m giving you fair warning, you might want to skip this one.  And even if you don’t have to deal with periods anymore, keep reading.  Maybe you can share this with a woman who does.  Having said that, ladies, let’s talk about periods.

Some personal history

When I first got my period, they were very heavy and I experienced debilitating cramps.  I can actually remember when they came out with Always pads with wings! back in 1986.  They were an absolute lifesaver for me, my underwear, and my bed sheets!  I definitely had a designated set of “period panties” before the Always product came along.  But somewhere along the way, I became allergic to Always pads and had to stop using them.  Fortunately, better, more absorbent products were on the market so I was able to find an alternative.  When I got older I started taking birth control, which provided some relief with my flow and extreme PMS.

As for tampons, I’d tried them, but they caused me to cramp even worse.  Maybe it was a psychological side effect of having a cotton sausage stuffed in my hoo ha attached to a dangling string, but the pain was real none the less.  I only used them when necessary, like at the pool, or if Aunt Flow showed up unexpectedly and I didn’t have a pad with me.  Even then, I’d take an extra dose of Midol or Pamprin.

breakfast on period

Fast forward to long after having kids, kicking the pill, and having my tubes tied.  I started getting extreme cramps and heavy periods again.  So heavy that I’d have to wear a tampon with an overnight pad during the day.  Thinking I might be perimenopausal (a drop in estrogen in your 30s or 40s prior to entering menopause), I made an appointment with my gynecologist.  She reassured me I wasn’t, and informed me that menopause typically occurs around the age of 50 or 51 but is different for every woman.  After confirming my estrogen was still in tact, I got to thinking; whatever the reason for the change, what I was experiencing was for the birds.  It’d been thirty something years since my first period.  There had to be a better product on the market.

The search for something better

I stumbled across the term ‘menstrual cup’ (which dates back to the 1930s), and something called a Softcup (now called Flex cups, see my Update at the end of this post).  It’s a flexible cup worn over the cervix to collect your “flow,” and can be worn up to twelve hours before having to be removed.  You can wear it while participating in sports, working out, swimming, and even while having sex!  No cotton sausages, no strings, no odor, and no mess!

After reading many, many reviews, mostly positive with a few negative, I decided to give it a try.  As luck would have it, a woman I work with had been using them for a while.  After picking her brain, I felt confident this was something I wanted to try.  The next time I was in Walgreens, I bought a box, and waited.

softcup

Trial (and error)

Turns out my period showed up while I was on vacation at Universal Studios in Orlando.  Oddly enough, I was excited!  Now what woman is excited to see her period while she’s on vacation, unless she’s having a pregnancy scare?!?  As luck would have it, instead of a couple of ‘just in case’ pads, I’d packed a Softcup.  What better place to try it than an amusement park in central Florida?  That morning I inserted it, slapped a panty liner in my underwear for good measure, and off we went.  It didn’t take long for me to realize what a dumb idea this was.

Remember I said my periods are heavy?  I tried this new product on day one with nothing but a panty liner as backup.  In Florida.  In September.  At an amusement park.  And I’m a ride enthusiast, roller coasters and all.  Knowing my hotel room was an eight minute walk and a bus ride away, those first two hours were filled with worry and several trips to the bathroom.  As we walked from ride to ride, I was constantly thinking is that sweat or blood?  Then I’d run off to find a bathroom to check.

I should probably explain when I was young, I had one of those ‘accidents’ that every woman dreads.  Leakage, with blood down my inner thighs, almost to my knees.  To make matters worse, I was traveling by bus, in another state.  And, I had to walk through a crowded restaurant to get to the bathroom.  Most people probably didn’t notice because I had on dark blue jeans, but the trauma and fear have stayed with me over the years (story for another post).

period pants

The agony of defeat

Worry was ruining what was left of my vacation, so I broke down and headed back to the hotel for backup.  I wasn’t giving up though.  I’d give the cup another try once I got home.  My flow would be less intense, and I could insert and remove it in the comfort of my own bathroom.

I spent and an arm and a leg in the gift shop on a box of pads and tampons, then spent ten minutes trying to remove this thing.  The more I stressed, the harder it was to remove.  Not only that, but my hand looked like something out of a horror movie when all was said and done.  No joke.  However, I’m so glad I didn’t allow my first experience to deter me from giving this product another chance.

And finally, success

I can tell you with certainty that I absolutely love these things now.  Here is what I’ve learned after gaining extensive experience with them.

  • The first day or two I use a thin pad as a backup.  This may seem inconvenient but it’s cleaner and less hassle than a tampon and an overnight pad.
  • On the days I’m not bleeding heavily, it’s easy to forget I’m even wearing it.  It’s that comfortable.
  • The key to insertion and removal is similar to a successful ob/gyn exam.  YOU HAVE TO RELAX.
  • There’s a learning curve, and an adjustment period where you learn to trust the product and how it works with your body.  Have some patience.
  • Use the product at home until you get used to it.  It’ll make life much easier.
  • To make removal easier, bear down with your pelvic muscles.  I have to do this every time.  If my finger were an eight of an inch shorter I would be in trouble.  That may be TMI but hey, so is this blog post.  I’m here for your entertainment.  🙂
  • I have fingernails and they’re not a problem.  You don’t have to worry about putting a hole in these things, they’re durable.
  • I know some women are asking how do you dump it and/or rinse it when you’re in public?
    • Some women carry vaginal wipes to wipe and reinsert the cup in public.  You could use toilet paper but it could get sticky.  Honestly, once you get the hang of it, removal and reinsertion is not as messy and you’d think.
    • The woman I work with tried to explain it will “empty itself” when you go to the bathroom (to pee).  I didn’t see anything about that in my research so I didn’t understand until I tried the product myself.  In my experience it does empty itself, so I don’t worry about emptying it if it’s not convenient.
    • You can safely wear the product for up to 12 hours.  So unless you work long hours, realistically you don’t have to worry about emptying it in public.
  • If you have questions I haven’t touched on, go to their FAQs page.

Now that I’ve gotten the hang of Softcups, I’ve been eyeballing another product I think would compliment them.  They’re called Period Panties, made by a company called Thinx.  There are similar products on the market, but from what I’ve read, Thinx might be the better choice.  The idea of panties that absorb your flow sounds kind of gross (like my initial thoughts about menstrual cups), but I’ve read a lot of positive reviews.  Problem is, I’m cheap, and Thinx are not.  If I try them, I’ll be sure to write a review.

UPDATE (4/21/17):

Softcup has been acquired by The Flex Company.  It’s still the same product, the only difference is the rubber ring is black now.  If you go to the website, it looks like the only option is to sign up for an ongoing subscription.  But if you look in the FAQs, there’s an option for a one time purchase of an 8 or 24 pack.  There’s also a free trial.  Personally what I did was go to my local Walgreens and buy up the last of their Softcups, so I’m good for at least a year.  🙂   And no, I haven’t tried Thinx yet.  I’m cheap y’all, I can’t come up off that money.

To quote one of the dumbest marketing campaign ads I’ve ever heard, “have a happy period!”

Angela

P.S.  I stumbled across a GREAT companion piece to this post at Self.com:  16 Period Facts All Grown Adults Should Understand.  There’s also an embedded Buzzfeed video at the end called 9 Period Hacks.  Both are worth a few minutes of your time, especially if you’re PMSing.  I thought they were both hilarious.  🙂