Four Simple Pages
Yesterday I attended a memorial for a co-worker that was recently killed in a tragic accident. Well, I didn’t attend the actual “Celebration of Life” service, for personal reasons, but I did stop by the church to pay my respects. I also signed the guest book and picked up a copy of the obituary. Now I have learned early in life that what’s normal to me is not necessarily normal to others, so let me provide a definition of what an “obituary” is to me. This definition was obtained from ElegantMemorials.com:
The funeral program (sometimes called a funeral brochure, pamphlet or funeral order of service) is the printed document that is given out funeral or memorial services that outlines the key points in the funeral or memorial service and summarizes the life achievements of your deceased loved one.
I’d like to emphasize that last part, because it’s what inspired me to write this post:
“summarizes the life achievements of your deceased loved one.”
I knew this co-worker on more than a casual level. It’s not as if we were the best of friends or anything, I do not want to mislead anyone, but we’d been on the same team and reported to the same manager for many years, so we’d had many conversations and I knew quite a bit about his personal life. And as I looked over the funeral program, I found it odd. Now I just want to say, the point of this isn’t to criticize others, so please keep that in perspective. What I found odd about the four surfaces of this folded piece of paper was there was no mention of his life.
- The first page was a picture of him, his wife (of only two months, so please keep her in your prayers), and his step-daughter (keep her in your prayers as well), along with a scripture from the Bible.
- The inside left page was a hymn.
- The inside right page listed the order of the memorial service.
- And the back page was another scripture.
Again, mine is not to criticize, I’m only pointing out what stirred something in me and inspired me to write this post. And, as I said before, what’s “normal” to me isn’t necessarily “normal” to others as we all have different upbringings and experiences. What I am used to seeing somewhere on these four pages is something about the person’s life, for example, where they’re from, what their hobbies were, etc. And I know for a fact that this person had quite an interesting life. I thought it was a shame that a summary of that interesting life wasn’t reflected on his final four pages. It’s also had me thinking about what my final four pages will look like.
Now this post isn’t meant to be morbid, and it’s certainly not really about my co-worker. It’s about what a lot of people tend to think about when they have to attend a memorial service; how short life can be, and how it can all be over in a second. This type of event, while helping us to mourn a friend or loved one, also tends to make us think about our own mortality and what we have (or haven’t) done with our life in the short time we’re afforded here.
Personally, I think I’ve done enough things in my life that I have some fodder for my four pages, but I certainly have a lot more I want to do. I want to have so much information that my children get frustrated with what to include and what to leave out. Well, I don’t want to frustrate my children during their time of grieving, because I’m a great mom and they are going to miss me so much, but I think you get my point. 🙂
Have you given any thought about what your four pages will look like? Have you really thought about what you’ve done (or have yet to do) in order to fill four simple pages with the summary of your life? We really need to stop saying things like I’d like to do this or that “one day,” or “when I get I’m going to .” Stop with the excuses. Life is short, and for the living according to Langston Hughes, so what are you doing now to fill the four page summary of your life? You’re not getting any younger you know. 🙂
Feeling kind of philosophical today,
Angela