Bathroom Etiquette

I have a pretty bent sense of humor, so please realize this post is just for laughs.  I’m not obsessed with bathroom behavior, but attention to detail has always been a ‘thing’ with me.  Because of that, the following are just a few things that have gone through my mind regarding public restroom use.

  • Courtesy flush (#1) – Ladies, a courtesy flush should happen when waste meets water.  Every time waste meets water.  Even if you’re alone.  It helps keeps smells to a minimum.   You’re not at home, you’re in a public restroom, so you can’t wait until you hear the restroom door open to flush the toilet.  It’s too late then.  So please, put the courtesy flush to use.  When waste meets water, reach and flush.  Which leads me to my next point:

 

  • Check the bowl after the flush – Even if the toilet has automatic flush, check the bowl when you’re done with your business.  Sometimes one auto flush is not enough.  Ladies don’t leave floaters.  If there’s anything left after the auto flush, hit the black button on silver panel.  It’s not hard.

 

  • Courtesy flush (#2) – Yes I know I listed courtesy flush twice, but this time it’s used quite differently.  For the flusher, when you hear the door open, flush the toilet.  This will signal alert ladies that you are handling business and they should seek a toilet elsewhere.  For the flushee (the person entering the bathroom), when you hear the courtesy flush, and you don’t see anyone exit a stall, turn around and leave.  As a courtesy.  Because the flusher has shy bowels and needs to be alone.  And, pooping is NOT a group sport.

 

  • The elbow hook – If I’m heading into the bathroom you’re exiting and you know you just lit it up (because you didn’t observe Courtesy flush #1), feel free to hook me by the elbow and politely suggest that I visit any other bathroom.  You don’t even have to explain why (I’ll already know).  Do not allow me (or anyone else) to walk into your funk, I might have my mouth open.  And that’s just nasty.

 

  • Perfume Puff – Ladies, perfume is not Febreeze.  If you’re lighting up the bathroom (and not observing Courtesy flush #1), spraying your nasty smelling perfume to cover your funk isn’t helping anyone.  Let me repeat, perfume is not Febreeze.  And, some of us are allergic, seriously.  If you light up public bathrooms on a regular, go to the dollar baskets at your local Target and buy yourself a travel size Febreeze.  Or, just use Courtesy flush #1 and save some money and your co-workers’ noses.  An even better alternative is a travel size Poo~Pourri.  It really works! [This a non-paid product endorsement.]

 

  • The disposable toilet seat cover – This is going to sound weird coming from a self professed germaphobe, but I laugh when I see women grab these.  Your cell phone has more germs on it than a toilet seat.  Realistically, the only chance you have of catching something from a toilet seat is if you have open sores on your behind.  And if you have open sores on your behind, you’ve got bigger issues than the toilet seat.  In fact, you’re probably the nasty heifer causing women to want to use toilet seat covers.  Which I guess is a catch 22, isn’t it?  I mean really, have you ever known anyone who’s caught something from a toilet seat?  I’ve never even heard an urban legend about people catching something from a toilet seat.  But if you’re that worried, leave the covers alone and simply squat without touching the seat.  It’s good for the thigh muscles.  And if you squat, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.

 

  • All employees must wash hands before returning to work – I don’t work with food but I live and die by this phrase.  I don’t know (or care) what you do in that stall, but humor me and wash your hands afterwards.  With soap.  Vigorously.  I don’t care if all you did was stand there and take ten deep breaths to keep from strangling a co-worker and never even used the bathroom.  Or if you put on disposable gloves and wrapped your hand in an inch and a half of toilet paper.  I want to SEE you WASH YOUR HANDS afterwards.
Image courtesy of compliancesigns.com
  • Leave a stall in between. – Most guys already know this (urinal) rule, but I’m here to let the ladies know it applies to us too.  Unless you don’t have a choice, leave a stall between yourself and the person already in a stall.  It drives me nuts when another woman walks into the bathroom with tons of empty stalls and they take up residence right next to me.  It feels like a violation of my personal space.  You may as well extend your hand under the wall so we can hold hands.  I’m kidding, please don’t.
Image courtesy of wikimedia.org

Those are just a few tips from my observations and thoughts on courteous public bathroom habits.  Feel free to pass them along to friends as a public service announcement, to help educate others on proper restroom etiquette.

Have a great weekend,

Angela